APRIL 13TH
I write to you sitting cross-legged on my blue bed sheets, I am wearing my big crooked sunglasses that I keep forgetting to fix, there is a yellow Japanese parasol on my bed with red birds and flowers on it. It looks like it crashed here, which it sort of did because i found it on the roadside on the way back from Otto and Lydia's apartment. I am listening to the Carpenters and Juno is fresh in my mind, as well as memories of this week. I haven't written here in a long time, and I'm afraid I will have too much and at the same time nothing to say. Ouch, my stomach hurts..
The water is out again. Sometimes that happens. Hopefully it's back by the time we get home from the gym tomorrow morning. ah yes, the gym. We have a lot to laugh about from everything that has happened there and all the people we have met. I do a pretty good impersonation of Hector, but Percy (the new instructor) is only just warming up to us. We really hope people will come to english class, many people have shown interest at least. Either way I have enjoyed watching the sun rise over Lima between the kickboxing posters on the windows, and praying for the people pumping iron with us.
That reminds me, today we had church and apparently some police stopped by after and talked with Otto because there were complaints again, they complained about the drums somehow, even though there were no drums except for Kevin attempting to help us keep rhythm on his legs.. Anyways, Otto said the police didn't really take it seriously and ended up asking if their kids could come to english class this week.
On the floor my velcro shoes face eachother next to my
black plastic bag of car paint.This thursday I am going to the home for women (el hogar de vida) to paint a mural. I am having a hard time sticking to one inspiration, I am so grateful for this opportunity to leave some brushstrokes behind here, but it's hard to decide what to write on a wall. I used to draw on the walls with lipstick when I was little, and on the inside of the closet doors; I don't think my dad ever did find it. Now I have a chance to write a message to these kids, to these women, maybe I think too hard, but I just really want for when eyes meet with the wall to come away with hope, that it would become a promise written on the walls of their heart that won't wash off. Maybe car paint can do that. (I went to the market, found the shop with walls of paint, I said I needed acrylic to paint a mural on a wall, I picked out the colours, they gave me 6 containers they mixed in front of me, and then said I also needed to buy thinner (or, as they say it, "teener). They said this kind of paint dries really fast, so I have to mix a certain amount of this other stuff in, because it's actually meant for cars. Great.)
"Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God." Ephesians 5:1-2Today I went to the park to sit under a tree and try to get some work done on a draft for this mural, so I started sketching out some ideas, and one apparently wasn't going so well, because a pigeon pooped on it twice. I sort of gave up then and played volley ball with Kevin (otto's son) and Otto for a while, then Sarah came and started playing with three little girls there and their barbies. I went over and sat with them and they did my hair and it only hurt a little bit. Sometimes it's good to be white, because the little kids are sort of drawn to you, but then again so are the older men... Definitely getting sick of that. Cat calls get old fast.
This week has been difficult.
Each day has felt different, like a fight to stay positive and at peace, to feel loved. I learned a lot, but even when you win the battles you are still weary from the fighting. Yesterday I woke up feeling like I didn't sleep at all, I thought of how I could stay up all night praying and I wouldn't run out of things to pray for, but I closed my eyes until morning and I woke up with the same feeling. So I began to write pages and pages of things that needed to be turned over again and again, things here, things at home, and now there is a list taped to my wall that I don't want to forget about. I prayed and my eyes started to burn and tears swelled out and I didn't feel any lighter when I had finished. Later Sarah said we were having a team prayer meeting. We spent a few minutes asking God what we need to be praying for, I asked Him what this time is, and undoubtedly it is a time of faith. Faithfaithfaithfaith is so important, and I was reminded again of John chapter 15 that I love.
"Already you are clean because of the word I have spoken to you. Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides int he vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart form me you can do nothing. If anyone does not abide in me he is thrown away like a branch and withers and the branches are gathered, thrown into the fire and burned. If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. By this my father is glorified, that you bear much fruit and so prove to be my disciples. As the father has loved me, so I have loved you. Abide in my love."
This verse was read to me when I was baptized, and I have been learning about that verse since the autumn, and it keeps coming back.
Sometimes I just feel so small, like I can do nothing. Other days I feel like all the mountains in the world are under my feet and I am walking exactly the right path in joy and fullness. Last Wednesday I woke up and the sun was hot gold on my skin. I read Psalm 36 - "How precious is your steadfast love". I asked to be shown what that is and I was. I heard many love songs and famous quotes come to mind, and then Jano came over to me and randomly pointed out a few verses, as if they were a gift for me. I also found some other verses that I have come to love in Song of Solomon. God is love and God is a lover of art, I think. Listen to what I found..
"Set me as a seal upon your heart, as a seal upon your arm,
for love is as strong as death, jealousy as fierce as the grave.
Its flashes are flashes of fire, the very flame of the Lord.
Many waters cannot quench love, neither can floods drown it." (8:6-7)
APRIL 15
Now it is already a new week, and I feel glad. I taped a lot of papers to my wall, and in two days I go to the woman's home to paint the mural. Tomorrow Sarah and Jano are meeting with some directors of some program for families living in extreme poverty. We hope to meet with them a few times, buy them a few good meals and put on a kid's program that we've been working on. On friday we go to the children's hospital dressed as clowns and bandits, we have skits and stories and songs (almost) prepared, a craft, games, and a little memory verse bookmark that I am making for them to keep and remember that day. Saturday will be a long day, once a month the church has a breakfast, but people will be around all day because the whole youth group is going to a christian concert (Jesus Adrian Romera). And then it will already be sunday again.
Today I am praying for the kids we meet in the park. Please pray with me that our team can learn to love like kids, and really be a blessing to the community and draw people to the church, but also that we will be drawn to these everyday relationships we get to have outside of these walls, to grow more of a love for this nation. I have faith that in these next two months we will learn to pour deeper love from ourselves than we thought we were capable of, and it will make a difference for somebody. And i am grateful to God even if it is the lives of our team that are changed the most, that when we return to 'regular' life we can love more there too. Maybe? I hope so. It is impossible for love to be wasted I think.
APRIL 19
It feels like I've been sleeping for 3 days straight, tho technically it was only one and a half days in bed. Yesterday morning I wasn't able to get out of bed to go to the gym, I couldn't sleep much and my stomach had been hurting a lot the day before. An hour ago was the first time I have gotten up to go anywhere except the bathroom. I had a really high fever yesterday, everytime I moved I felt nauxious, I slowly raised my body to get to the bathroom, I felt like puking, and my ears started to have that fuzzy sound inside them, they were ringing, and my eyes had stars all over them, i could barely see the wall in front of me. I was supposed to paint the mural yesterday. Instead i missed devotions and a nice little team dispute about the gym, I missed playing with the kids at the home, I missed teaching english class. My bed is right by the window so I could feel the light change throughout the day, time passed like a cloud shadow, I still can't even believe it's not even 11am yet today. Sarah said Hector was asking about me at the gym today, there's no way I could've gone, but I'm feeling so much better today and I only have a little bit of a fever left.
Roxy has been reading to me. Yesterday we read almost a quarter of a book together, she even sang to me when the people in the book were singing "it is well with my soul". My team is wonderful. I had soup for breakfast and Jano and Angelita would simultaniously say "ohh, pobrecita, mi enfermita hijita.." (which means poor girl, my little sick daughter) Actually that was just Angelita. She also told me in Spanish that those who eat when they're sick don't die. Peru has the best soda crackers in the world i think.
After Spanish class is over Roxy's going to read to me again.. but until then i should probably sleep some more.
This is me, being cute. I have no idea how to make pictures not sideways. 
This is me, being cute. I have no idea how to make pictures not sideways. 
ABOVE: is when we took three buses to Serco, where we went on a hike in the foothills of the Andes to see a gorgeous water fall. We also saw some cool rocks and pretended to be cave men.
